*Sigh* Can't believe I haven't written a journal entry for over a year. I know I'm pathetic and slack, but a pretty major state-wide tragedy has touched even me, and I feel the need to write about it.

Last Saturday Victoria was ravaged by the worst bushfires it had ever seen; nearly 200 are dead and thousands of homes have been lost. Luckily I'm not so personally affected, although one of the major fires is still burning not far south from here. But what really got to me is that entire townships have been destroyed, including a lovely mountain town called Marysville where my father used to live. It depresses me because I've been there a few times, and have bitter-sweet memories attached to the place, and now there's just... nothing. I can't even begin to imagine what the surviving residents must be going through. And of course I don't even want to think about all the lost pets across the state. If I was amidst a natural disaster-type emergency, the first thing I would do is grab my cats and make sure they're safe; but I guess that wouldn't be a priority for everyone.

On Saturday night I have to admit even I was scared, even though I knew we weren't in direct danger, the wind change had covered the area with smoke and dust, and it was raining ash. Going outside was like walking into a volcano, and it was dark during the daytime... I was probably more worried about the pets even though they were all inside, I just worry about them so much...

But my kudos to all the tireless firefighters and emergency workers; without their dedication the situation would have been far, far worse. And my thoughts are with those that have lost everything...

To end on a positive note, I actually won my first Pokemon card tournament on the 11th of Jan... a City's (Premier rated) event it was, too.

And I know I haven't drawn/written anything in ages... believe me I hate myself about that. Somehow, someday... something will be uploaded. >_>

Well my last three entries have all been angry and depressed and angsty...

So let's have a break from that unpleasantness.

I'm tired. That's all. Relaxed and tired... and excited about Sunday, on which I am attending the Melbourne Great Encounters pre-release. Yay!

But yeah. Just calm. Peaceful. Tired. ZZZZ...

Well a was in a better mood yesterday. I was looking forward to the pre-release, blah blah, managed to write some of my story, yada yada. But now thanks to an insolent jerk on another website I'm in a fouler mood than I was before.

OK so it was just a catalyst, I'm angry about alot of things, life in general, humanity, blah the usual. But GRRR I am just so sick of people!

Message to humanity: GET OVER YOURSELF.

OK here's a bit of trivia: I hate kids. Never want em. Does that make me some unholy demon? A woman of child-bearing age never wanting kids? *Gasp* Oh, because the world is in such a fine state. Of course it's a wonderful idea to bring a kid into the world, to add to humanity's woes. But me saying I would rather hit a kid than a cat if I drove does NOT equal me saying "I will kill your kids when I get the chance." I'm just generalising, re-iterating that humanity needs to treat other living things with the respect it would give itself. Not that it ever will.

But I should really stop caring since it gets me so worked up. So that's my goal from now on, to be rid of light-hearted friendly side that seems to make friends even though she doesn't want them, so if people are pissing me off, I'm gonna say so. I've just had enough of people's bullshit.

So I hate kids, hate people, love cats... you don't like it, well go get a lobotomy for all I care. Just leave me well alone.

Man, I've been so grumpy lately. But I have reasons, I'm not just a grumpy person by nature, like my brother, heh...

First of all, I've had a never-ending period since the middle of December. Sorry if that information made any males reading cringe, but anyways. It's directly related to why I needed a blood transfusion too... went on the pill to stop me from having my period (coz goodness knows I'll never need it for the other reason, LOL) because my heavy bleeding was the main reason I lacked iron so badly. But then since I've been on the pill I've just bled non-stop, not heavily like a normal period, but still, it's defeating the purpose, sanitary products are NOT cheap, and WHY THE HELL WON'T THE DOCTOR JUST LET ME HAVE A HYSTERECTOMY. SERIOUSLY.

*Ahem* Another reason, the course I wanted to do at TAFE, a professional writing and editing course, is only being offered online. WHICH SUCKS. I have a hard enough time with motivation as it is, left to my own schedule, I'll never complete anything on time. -_- Plus that kinda course, you kinda need creative interaction, y'know? So I'm not going to do it, but I really wanted to... ;_;

And all my friends end up annoying me or betraying me in some way. What is wrong with me? I'm such an anti-social loner I don't want friends? I just can't be bothered...

And that bothers me. I've felt so useless and pathetic lately, I sleep so much, never have the energy to do anything, and I'm just cranky when I'm awake... ahh I suck. If it wasn't for my Mum and my beautiful cats, I don't believe I'd have any reason to bother living. Meh.

If you're wondering about the title, basically I'm saying I can't stand my Dad and wish not to be biologically related to him. Although I woke up with a pretty bad headache (which I still have) I found out my VCE results this morning, and was rather pleased...

But then my Dad had to ruin my day by ringing me. He has only recently gotten back in touch after not speaking to me for 1 and a half years... and so during our phone conversation today after I mentioned I might go to Uni the year after next, and try and save some money next year to do so, he said I should "get rid" of some of our cats in order to save money. Anyone who knows me knows that is the equivalent of saying something like "why don't you sell your organs on the black market"... no wait, its worse than that. Its so absurd I have nothing to compare it to...

So I went down the street, determined to get some credit for my phone just so I could tell him to get stuffed and never bother contacting me again. I mean, apart from being a fucked-up heartless thing to say, it also proves that he has no fucking idea about who I am. And I don't usually swear but FUCK I HATE THE BASTARD.

(Yay for the chainsaw emoticon!)

I could go on for hours detailing the many ways in which my father sucks, but I don't want to bore you. Some people may believe blood is thicker than water but I think that's a load of Tauros shit. My cats mean more to me then he ever did or could, and friends you make in life can become a much closer "family" than the real thing. So folks, don't feel obliged by the notion of "family". I figure, if there is someone who is family that you would normally dislike immensely if they were a stranger, then don't put up with them.

But on a fluffier note, I'm really close with my Mum ^_^ Of course it helps that we're so similar, LOL

And I'm attending a Pokemon Party of sorts this Sunday, yay for me being social for a change! It should be fun. Ahhh, to be surrounded by fellow Pokenerds...

P.S My ENTER turned out to be 86.10... not too shabby for a CFS sufferer who had a blood transfusion the week of their first exam LOL